Tuesday, June 07, 2005

epilogue to an exam

Yes yes...the killer exams are over!!!

It really is a huge load lifted off my back after months of attempting to study amidst so many "distractions"...some valid and some...urm, maybe a little questionable...hehe. So when the proctor told me (did I fail to mention that I was the ONLY candidate yesterday?) to put down my writing instruments at 5pm yesterday, I couldn't be more pleased to comply.

So how did it go? Let's just say that about a quarter through my morning session paper (there was also an afternoon session), I just decided to "let go, and let God" ;) It was tough and I just wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to be. My attempts to cram in too much over the last few days didn't really help either. There was just this huge cumulonimbus of concepts and formulas in my head. Not too good eh?

But all's not lost. I'm actually very grateful for this whole experience, which brings me to thank everyone who prayed for me and who extended words of encouragement. I'm trying not to get too sentimental here, but it's really comforting to know that people are remembering you in their prayers.

I must also share some thoughts that have come to mind over the last week or so, flowing from church camp; that we serve a God who is so much bigger than the "god" we make Him out to be. We sometimes think we can place Him in our little pigeon holes when He is far greater than that.

We serve a God who is larger than life itself. I shared this with BK on Sunday in response to the morning worship service, that I was reminded that we worship a God who is bigger than the death of the 5 missionaries who perished in Ecuador. In similar vein, but on probably much lesser scale of importance, He is also One who is bigger than my CFA exams.

I have to confess that I've never been a good loser. Well, I try to be, but I know that losing is just not ingrained in me, especially when it comes to exams. This time I have been humbled...really. I have come stripped of my abilities knowing I can only walk this road holding the Hand that leads me.

And so I held it...tightly.

For He never fails.


Phil 3:7-8, 13-14

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