22

Honour Him and He will honour you.

Have a great one today.

words

I've got my pen.
And a million thoughts in my head.

Now what do I say?

nothing but consumables

Perhaps in your world, we are all just commodities waiting to be consumed, and then conveniently disposed off after we have served our purpose.


Remove your blinds.

Open your eyes to see
what we see.

rest upon us

My soul is weary and my cup is dry
I am so in need of You
Though my righteousness is rags
Your mercies are new
So Lord, come down to me
So my heart can see
How encompassing Your grace can be

My mind is heavy and my days are long
I lift my eyes up in the night
My heart, it weighs me down
But Your burden is light
So Lord, come walk with me
Until my heart believes
All the bounties that Your grace can bring

Holy Spirit, rest upon us
Breath of God, touch my soul
Come unfailing love of Jesus
Rest upon us, rest upon us

- Written by Laura Story & Andrew Osenga

imbalance

Maybe this tension still remains because I still care...

and that you, for some reason, no longer do.

behold, I make all things new

The realisation that things aren't the same anymore; that things are but a sad shadow of what they used to be.

And the longing to harken back to a time when things were much simpler; when words didn't have to be over-analysed; when feelings were respected and upheld; when truth and honesty was a given; a time when we could simply just be ourselves.

This morning, my thoughts are on the God who "makes all things new".

not our own understanding

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.

You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security.

He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

- excerpts from Proverbs 3 (NLT)

freedom

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.

So you may eat any meat that is sold in the marketplace without raising questions of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”

If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience. (But suppose someone tells you, “This meat was offered to an idol.” Don’t eat it, out of consideration for the conscience of the one who told you. It might not be a matter of conscience for you, but it is for the other person.) For why should my freedom be limited by what someone else thinks? If I can thank God for the food and enjoy it, why should I be condemned for eating it?

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.

- "The First Letter to the Corinthians", Paul of Tarsus

this is a little long, but so worth the read

My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him.

Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.

Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted. These men turn from the right way to walk down dark paths. They take pleasure in doing wrong, and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil. Their actions are crooked, and their ways are wrong.

Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman. She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God. Entering her house leads to death; it is the road to the grave. The man who visits her is doomed. He will never reach the paths of life.

Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous. For only the godly will live in the land, and those with integrity will remain in it. But the wicked will be removed from the land, and the treacherous will be uprooted.

- Proverbs 2 (NLT)

monday reflections

Been thinking about community. What/Who/Where is my dominant community? What does it mean to live in community?

*****

The weekend has been pretty eventful. The PJGH community welcomed back 2 close friends after their 2-year stint in the UK, and it was great spending time with them over the weekend. It's funny how it feels like we all just picked up from where we left things the last time. Has it really been 2 years??

*****

An eventful weekend made for random noodle and ikan bakar nights; dessert chillaxes with a view; passing on the temptation to sleep in on a wet Saturday morning for the sake of melt-in-your-mouth siew yoke in downtown Kay-El; 8 second zapped Krispy Kreme glazed donuts...and nuts; sipping drinks at a Rich Pappa's crib; more ikan bakar still; enriched chocolate catchups with an 'old' good friend.

I'm tired.

*****

I'm tired.

I'm really tired of the last I-don't-know-how-many weeks.

I have been reminded to "be still". Tough it is. But still I try. Because I know that I've done my part. And because there really isn't much else that I can do now but pray. And hope.

I hope you realise that the ball is really in your court now. So are you gonna play or what? I'm still waiting.

being human

"If it makes you happy, I'll confess to you - I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm sick." - Rip Darren, Six Who Died

"I need you. You need me." - CPK sharing on the body of Christ (1 Cor 12)

*****

I laugh. I cry. I worry. I yearn. I hurt. I rejoice. I feel.

I too am only human.

Like you.

unexpected insights

I think I now understand better where you were coming from when you posted those words on 13 March 2008. It's funny how I never saw things from that perspective until recently.

I regret that I never had the chance to talk to you about what happened back then and was fed information which represented only the side of the story that wasn't yours. I guess it took me to hop on the same boat that you were once on, in order for me to see things from your vantage point.

I think I understand now. I think.

EDIT: If you think I'm referring to you, I'm not.

*****

1 month. How many more?

*****

Spotted on a friend's FB wall...
"Forgiveness can be unilateral; reconciliation is always mutual."

*****

I'm tired and I need sleep. ZZZzzzZZZzzz...

2

TWICE in the span of about a month simply sucks.

The white Viva makes its appearance again.

r-r-r-random

A traffic accident involving you. Sad conversations. Standing beside some lalang watching people play football in some random field. C&S group. Zombies invading C&S group. Zombies that look like normal human beings but are not. Guns. Running low on ammo. A warehouse. Running. Running some more. Bright lights.

I opened my eyes and picked up my phones. It was just a dream. And I was very late for work.

reflecting

The weekend was bittersweet.

Things are still pretty much status quo. I thought I saw a glimmer of hope early Sunday morning. But I guess I know better these days that it's sometimes better to be a pessimist. You make it look so easy. Effortless. But I'm not you. And I find it difficult to smile when...

Worship on Sunday was a panacea to the soul. Thanks Benny.

A picture painted of God's redemptive love // Draw me close. Soar above the storm. Our one unchanging constant. Victory // Welling up. Flowing down. Quivering. Choking. Standing. In awe.

CPK's sermon was inspiring. But sad. To love the LORD with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. To love our neighbour as ourselves. How far have we missed the point. I wondered if...

*****

3 Sundays have passed since.
A lot more has happened in between.
And I still don't know what, when, why, how...

27 July 2009

My personal Black Monday.

A day when everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

Emmanuel

When the darkness fills my senses
When my blindness keeps me from Your touch
Jesus, come

When my burden keeps me doubting
When my memories take the place of You
Jesus, come

Jesus, come.

come to the water

You said You'd come
And share all my sorrows
You said You'd be there
For all my tomorrows
I came so close to sending You away
But just like You promised
You came there to stay
I just had to pray

And Jesus said, "Come to the water
Stand by my side
I know you are thirsty
You won't be denied
I felt every teardrop
When in darkness you cried
And I strove to remind you
That for those tears I died"

Your goodness so great
I can't understand
And dear Lord, I know
I know You're here now
And always will be
Your love loosed my chains
And in You I'm free
But Jesus, why me?

Jesus, I give you
My heart and my soul
I know that without you
I'd never be whole
Saviour, You opened
All the right doors
And I thank You and praise You
From earth's humble shores
Take me - I'm Yours

- Marsha Stevens

wait

1.30 am.

3 hours and counting...

Surviving on Guinness and fries in my tummy.

And still I wait.

something's up

It's not that I WANT something to be wrong. It's just that I SENSE something is wrong.

And IF something really is wrong, then I think we should acknowledge it and then try to fix it.

Because I can't do it alone.