take me to Qba

Here I am in the office absolutely refreshed by the mid-week break, although I can't say that I really look the part. No thanks to either the cold and flu medication that Eu Bing gave me (can't remember its name) or the dust that was flying around his room when he was cleaning it, my body reacted with a terrible disfiguring allergic reaction on my right eye causing it to swell to some ginormous size. You'd think I should have gone to see a doctor or get some rest, but NOOO. We did the worst thing we possibly could do (at least in my very self-conscious opinion) by going out for supper at McD's Centrepoint at probably the very peak of its swelling! Arrghh! The embarrassment! I hope I never see those people again.

Well, thankfully the swelling has been subsiding gradually by itself (didn't use it as an excuse to take any steroids like you, Richard =p). Right now, I guess it just looks like a case of late night puffy eyes. I'm certainly hoping it completely subsides before this weekend with Benj's and Janice's wedding coming up on Saturday.

Apart from that, checked out Qba (at Westin, not to be confused with the dodgy Qbar!!) on Monday night with Bing and Steph. Was good fun yakking away over the din, being trigger-happy with our camera phones, staring over the balcony observing the action below, picking out "stereotype" East & West couples, watching an enthusiastic aunty do her thang next to her rather kayu companion, enduring horrible music between band performances.

Who knew Monday could be anything but blue?

conquering fears

for a
moment
deja vu
Lord why?
not again?
this was getting
all too
familiar
disappointment
reigning

but it's
a different
storyline
clouds clearing
reveal the sky
words spilled
speak honesty
the tension
now diminished
replaced with
renewed commitment

conquering
fears
Your child
humbled
awed

need 48hrs in a day

So much to say
So little time
So I guess that's all I'll be saying for now.

Until next time then!

love crucified A ROSE

Yesterday, a friend told that he would be celebrating Easter and observing Qing Ming together at his grandparents' grave this Sunday. Basically, he said that his dad would be leading the family in a private Easter dawn service at the grave itself.

I thought...wow.

Sure gives a different perspective to both death and resurrection.

It's Good Friday today. May we never lose our sense of wonder towards a God who willingly gave Himself to be beaten, ridiculed and hung on a cross...

because He loved us.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life - John 3:16

fourteen, thirteen, twelve...

I'm counting down the days...

Think crystal clear turquoise waters and powder white beaches.

And above all, a whole new underwater world beckons!

Take me.

showers of blessings

There's something strangely liberating about walking in the rain.

It's that conscious decision to ignore the fact that we could be tucked under nice and dry warm covers on a dreary Saturday morning. Forgetting that our clothes are getting heavier by the second, and that our shoes are going *squish squish*. Feeling the pitter patter on our faces and not shying away but embracing every falling drop.

There's something strangely liberating about walking in the rain without a care in the world. Throw in a good companion and these become almost

the best of times.

Doing Round 3 of the Bukit Kiara loop wasn't such a bad call after all, was it? =)

tripartite

Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us through

...He satisfies my desires.

*****

Great times spent with friends from the present. You have been a blessing to me so much more than you could ever know. Thank you for being simply, you.

Close friends of yesteryears re-establishing contact (THREE in TWO days!). It's been TOO LONG. I'm looking forward to catching up with you again soon.

And You. You continue to amaze and baffle me. Your ways are truly higher than mine; Your thoughts than mine. Thank you.

*****

The last couple of days have been a testament to God's surmounting grace in the things that I had been facing lately. God does indeed answer prayers, sometimes in ways more than we could ever hope for or imagine. Let us also pray however, that we may be patient enough to wait out the period that he wants us to spend in the "wilderness" before He comes through and saves us.

safe havens

I typed out a whole post and then deleted it thinking it might be deemed too "sensitive" or too "personal" for public consumption. Yup, I guess good ol' Discernment tapped me gently on the back to remind me that certain things are just not meant to be shared openly. Failure to adhere strictly to the unwritten code could result in certain uncomfortable conversations, or weird stares from people.

And so I shut the door once again waiting for Safe Havens to come by.

Until then, the boy shall remain

silent.

franciscan benediction

I didn't get to go for the entire Friends in Conversation: A Quiet Revolution of Hope last weekend due to YF and worship commitments, but I did manage to at least make it for the open Saturday night session. That night, Brian McLaren spoke on Discipleship, and more specifically about spiritual formation. Many good thoughts flowed freely, especially during the conversation between McLaren, Tan Soo-Inn, Dr Alex Tang and Dr Voon Choon King, with Sivin Kit facilitating. Will try to post more on my thoughts later but until then, I'll leave you with this benediction that was read at the close of the meeting.

It simply blew me away.

*****

May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships...

...so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people...

...so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war...

... so that you may reach out your hand
to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world...

... so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

random thought

You are God and I am not.



... it's just what we need to be reminded of sometimes.

stop this world

It’s pathetic.

To see plastered smiles on the faces of the hurting.
To live constantly watching our backs.
To think that we can hide sin beneath clothes of fig leaves.
To build walls around us to keep others out.
Only to find that we are trapped within.

Is there room for honesty?
Does genuine honesty exist?
How much honesty can we take from others?
How much honesty can others take from us?

I'll start by confessing.
I’m pathetic.
But I will try.

To carry your tears.
To watch your back.
To accept you despite your sin.
To break down your walls.
In order to reach the captive within.

And I hope you'll do the same.


This is dedicated to everyone who shares my disillusionment with the way we have reduced community living to an elaborate drama where we all play lead roles in a seemingly perfect world.

speechless

Literally.

I've lost my voice.

Well, at least 80% of it. My friends say that I sound like the mafia everytime I try to squeeze a sentence out of my vocal chords. Imagine my usual voice with the 'growl' factor multiplied 10 times! And there you go! Haha...

Talking doesn't get much harder than this.

So count your blessings folks, and keep on talking, chatting, muttering, conversing, yakking, droning, and blabbering away...

waiting

up UP UP UP...

...it goes.

Here I lie waiting to strike.

It's gonna be a kill.

Boy, I'm lovin' it.

decisions...decisions...

Should I? Or should I not?

All of a sudden, I'm finding myself swimming in a pool of options.
All of which look pretty irresistable.
All with their merits.

So, which way to go?

Should I? Or should I not?

=)

Brian McLaren in Malaysia

Date:
March 3-4, 2007 (Saturday and Sunday)

Venue:
Christian Life Gospel Centre
3rd Floor, Kompleks Kemajuan
2, Jalan 19/1B
46300 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan
Malaysia


Join me?

dropping in on '07

To those who were wondering if I had died since 22 September 2006 (the date of my last post), I hereby declare that I am very much alive and kicking. Go ahead...jump for joy! Or cover yourself with sackcloths and mourn!

Well, it's a brand new year and a brand new post! I guess I did toy with the idea of recapping the happenings of the last 4 months or so...Bangkok, Christmas, youth camp, memories and all...but I eventually passed on the idea, which was probably the wisest thing I've done so far this year. Attempting to would have been bordering insanity, although I must stress that I really COULD if I wanted to.

Yeah, tell me about it. I'm mad.

This morning, Col 1:13-14 stuck out like a sore thumb as I was doing some readings; and I quote from the NIV:-

For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

My thoughts immediately went out to events that were unfolding around me, to honest confessions from broken hearts... where people were feeling judged and condemned for the things that they had done, where relationships were suffering, where feelings of unworthiness sometimes overwhelmed, where constant struggles with sin were the order of the day.

And THERE it was this morning. And so crystal clear too. That God has truly rescued us from the deepest and darkest pits of our lives. And it doesn't stop there. Instead of judging us, He invites us into His kingdom, where there is no condemnation for us who are in Christ, where there is forgiveness, and where we ultimately find ourselves redeemed.

Pretty good stuff huh? =)

So if you happen to have started off the year on a bad note, chin up. As old cliché goes...when you are down, the only way to go is up.

Up, up and awayyy!!

good news

This started out as a reply to a comment posted on an earlier post of mine, and morphed into this as I was encouraged to think a little more about the concepts of salvation, the gospel message, and about God. My decision to put this up as a blog post rather than a comment relates to how important I feel this conversation is to me, and I believe many other people as well.

I am very much aware that the topic of this post can heighten emotions, positively or negatively. Whatever your convictions may be, I pray that the differences between mine and yours will be treated in the bond of love as we work towards "unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God".

*****

I also pray that you will not be too quick to presuppose my entire spectrum of principles and beliefs based on a single statement about my aversion to "exclusivism". My discomfort with exclusivity has nothing to do with the exclusivity of Christ's work in the salvation of man. A careful reading of my post will clarify my position on the uniqueness of Christ as "the way, the truth and the life".

My problem with exclusivity lies in the conventional understanding of salvation, hell, and the gospel, and how this understanding can sometimes be used to create exclusive clubs where some are simply "predestined" or "elected" to be lifetime members and some on the other hand will simply never be able to make it through the pearly gates.

While proponents of this position often cite God's absolute sovereignty over creation as the basis of their arguments, I believe not enough justice is being done to passages such Luke 15, which gives us such a vivid image of God, first seeking out the sinner with seemingly reckless abandon as he leaves 99 sheep to go after the single lost one, to eventually welcoming the sinner back home with great rejoicing.

How then does "turn or burn" or other hellfire rhetoric fit in this image of God? Have we reduced God to a deity that rejoices in exacting "deserving" punishment on sinners?

Of course not! God doesn't derive any joy from meting out judgment on sinners. However, God's holiness is as inherent a part of him as his love, and a holy God cannot tolerate sin. God after does tell us to be holy, just as he is holy.

But doesn't this holiness thing seem cold and harsh then? After all, doesn't God love us?

Of course he loves us! And more than that! John 3:16 tells us that he loves the world! And this great love for us was demonstrated when God himself, in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ, assumed the punishment due unto us by dying on the cross, therefore meeting the requirements of God's justice and holiness and thus reconciling man and God.

The completeness of Christ's redemptive work in the salvation of man is undisputed. Nevertheless, questions still abound.

To say that God is sovereign and is in absolute control over all creation, in light of the conventional understanding of salvation, is to ask then whether God actually planned "heaven" and "hell" from the very beginning. Did he predestine before the creation of the world, some to be eternally blessed in "heaven", and some to be eternally tormented by the "fires of hell"? How consistent then is this God with the God of Luke 15?

The alternative to this is to assume that God created the world to be perfect from the very beginning. Man was created to have an interactive relationship with God but man simply messed up. Sin enters the story and hell pops up along the away. God is then faced with the problem of fixing the situation. But this scenario calls into question God's sovereignty and his omniscience. How could God not have anticipated this from the very beginning?

There is a third alternative, which sees God as having a single purpose for man from the very beginning; that singular purpose being ultimate reconciliation with God. In Genesis, Abram was chosen to be blessed by God. But God does not stop there. God also uses him as an agent to bless the rest of the world. Effectively, God chooses to bless Abram so that he can in turn be a blessing to the nations.

Jesus also builds on this when he tells his disciples to be salt and light to the world; flavouring communities with the taste of God's Kingdom and bringing light where there is spiritual darkness. Jesus too calls us to be agents of God's Kingdom in this world.

Could it be possible then, that we have misunderstood what it means to be predestined or elected by God? Is it not too impossible to see that we may have mistaken this calling to be one of privilege or blessing, when in actual fact, it is a commission (Matt 28:19-20) for us go into the world to be a blessing to others?

And while I have not mentioned "repentance" so far, I hope that one can see repentance as a necessary part for people to become beacons of God's light, to be able to flavour or influence their surroundings positively, and to be channels of God's blessings. None of that can be accomplished without a genuine turn of our hearts to seek after God's Kingdom and his righteousness.

Merdeka @ Bukit Tabur

Made a trip to Bukit Tabur with the gang on Merdeka Day. We met at church around 7-ish in the morning. Gabe, Bing and Bernard hopped into my car while Lareina, Marie and Wenz got into Benny's, and we were off! Was the 2nd time hiking up Tabur this year, this time thankfully with less drama!

Well, 'nuff said. I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking!


Early morning mist in Bukit Tabur. Just spectacular.


Marie, Wen Sze, Lareina, Benny and Gabriel trailing behind.


Christian grafitti?


View from one of the peaks.


Makan time!


LOTR comes to Bukit Tabur.


Looking back on the descent.


This is one scarecrow I definitely wouldn't want to bump into at night.

hallowed

When Jesus taught about prayer, He said...

Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

Today
Your thoughts
I cannot fathom
Yet
Not mine
But Yours
Be done?
Pray You
Show me
Tomorrow

a second look

To be honest, I was a little disturbed at Care & Share Group last night. Somehow the little theological debate that took place on who gets into heaven, and who doesn't, got me a little sick to the stomach. It just all sounded so exclusive. Like we're only interested to know whether our Buddhist neighbour across the street is invited to the party, or not.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not pointing fingers because it's nobody's fault, really. Most Christians have indeed been brought up with these foundations that we have built our Christian faith upon. I was once like that too. Actually, I see myself straddling both sides, with one half of me still holding on to traditional Christian foundations, with the other side reaching out in search of answers to questions that had never been answered satisfactorily.

Once again, I have to blame Brian McLaren for this. I've just finished reading The Last Word and the Word After That for the second time (I really had to) and my head is still spinning as I struggle to digest everything. The scary thing is that I agree with the way he sees things!

To put it very simply, it bothers me to use exclusive and Jesus in the same sentence. Reading about Jesus' life and His teachings in the Gospels seems to imply that He was about inclusion, not exclusion.

And before anyone starts to write me off as a heretic, here's what I believe...

I believe that Jesus is the only way, that He is the embodiment of truth and of life as God had purposed for mankind to live. And I believe that He IS the only way for us to come into an interactive relationship with God.

But to say that you have to believe in Him in a certain way in order to gain access into the "in" club has just been something that I cannot comprehend. To me, it actually sounds like what the Pharisees would say.

this entry attractive english it is

Spotted at Ampang Park just the other day...


Deriving pleasure from pressure?


But if you think that's bad, wait till you see what they've got in Japan...


No fly-by-night cookies here.


Becomes a stationary object when placed on surfaces.


Ovulation...not just for chicks anymore.


You like eating mother stick? Err...

19th Floor, Plaza OSK

Managing people is tough work indeed.

I've got three subordinates (2 gals and 1 guy) in my little team, all with very different characters, and it's really been a challenge adapting to each individual's style of communicating, working, and understanding.

X, the second person to join my team and the longest serving member among the three (the first guy resigned over a year ago), is a really fun guy to be around. Slightly chubby, his incessant cravings for KFC, ridiculous jokes and occassional childish antics make for good entertainment in our department when we're bored. Smart guy, but he mostly thrives on spontaneity and I think doesn't process ideas rationally at times. Pretty often, he speaks faster than he thinks. Not really advisable when you're advising clients on multi-million ringgit deals! Aside from that, he has contributed his fair share to our bottomline, and pretty much gets the job done.

Y, the most senior among the three, gives me the most headaches. She is my age and had worked for over 3 years in Ernst & Young before joining OSK 2 years ago. So, if experience is determined by the number of years one has worked, then she definitely has got one up on me as I happen to be the youngest team head here. So what's my problem with her then? I've thought hard about this and I think it simply boils down to the feeling that she doesn't take too well to instructions and wants to do things HER way (inspired by Dr M presumably). Well, while I think things have improved, it used to be a real struggle communicating my ideas to her because it always seemed as if she was not keen to listen, or that maybe she considered my ideas not really worth her "precious time". Can you imagine two people talking at the same time?! That's what happens sometimes when I try to explain something to her! I don't know whether the "lack of respect" is derived from the fact that she supposedly has got "more experience", but working with her has been challenging to say the least. And it's not exactly that she does a great job with her work anyway.

Z is the baby of our team, being the youngest among the three. I think the relationship initially started off pretty frostily with her seeming quiet and even aloof at times. Thankfully, all that ice has melted away and she is really quite a darling not just within my team, but throughout the department. She learns things fast, is critical in her thinking, is quick and efficient, and possesses an independent attitude that's really congruent with my style of working. I think all those attributes more than make up for her lack of experience.

As I draw closer to my 4th anniversary in OSK, I guess a question that's been playing in my mind is whether it's time to move on to other pastures; whether the next step of growth actually lies somewhere out there in the corporate wilderness, rather than this grassy plain that I've grown so accustomed to.

I'm certainly praying that God will reveal to me a clearer picture of His plans for me for the future. But wait, perhaps I misunderstand how God works. He's no fortune-teller.

It's about trusting him to lead me into the new Promised Land which He has prepared for me. It's about putting my hand in His and letting Him lead me in this dance of life.

I may not get a clear picture of God's plans for me, but I'll follow Him nonetheless and trust that He knows the way.

Well, I guess that's faith for you. And that's enough.

*****

This post has been subsequently edited.

My sincere apologies go out to those who may have been offended by the contents of this post. Please note that while it was never my intention to offend, I maintain my stand that this blog represents my honest and private thoughts, which I do hope you would respect.

To YOU who thrives in spreading discord, I don't know what YOUR intentions are, but let me just say that abhor YOUR actions. I'm disappointed in YOU.

And to YOU, please do not take my silence as ignorance. Don't think for even a second that I'm ignorant of what YOU did. If there's one thing I despise about people, it's the horrible habit of gossiping and I certainly do not appreciate YOU going around and talking behind my back. While I have forgiven YOUR actions and put the past behind, forgetting doesn't come so easy. Don't take me for a fool.

a taste of the divine

These are good times indeed. Well, not quite the best of times, but I guess that little setback from perfection keeps our hearts anticipating and longing for the perfect world that God will prepare for us in the future.

I've been kept busy with work, with a major submission to the Securities Commission due this week for a new structured derivative product. No late nights however, thankfully!

Bukit Kiara remains one of my favourite hangout spots and I've been consistently hitting the slopes over the last 2 weeks with Bing. There's nothing like a nice jog up and down the hill to work those muscles and to get that ol' heart pumping. And when fatigue sets in, simply slow down and let good conversations take over!

Somehow also managed to squeeze in a badminton session with the guys during the weekend. The cousins, now back from the States, also joined us. And my singles match winning streak over a certain RR continues...haha!

Wrapped up the weekend with a splendid thank you dinner hosted by the new Tay household for the wedding helpers last night. It was a night of reliving our childhood at the playground swings, see-saws and slides, chomping down an exquisite spread prepared by the host and hostess, hilarious conversations on the now infamous i-Gallop, refusing to share "shareable" portions of decadent pancakes and ice cream for dessert, taunting with "haunted" trophies, drowning "sorrows" with duty-free Langkawi alcoholic mixes, and in the midst of all the chaos, catching Sports Illustrated - Swimsuit Models, Pimp My Ride, and Alexander on the idiot box. Guess one should never expect anything less when you put a rowdy bunch of Gasing-ites (including members who have since defected) together.

Some pictures from last night and from the wedding earlier this month...


The Tays.


Violations of playground maximum age regulations were spotted at the see-saw...


At the swing...


And at the slide.


Open lid to access good food.


And a little flashback to the 1 of July 2006...


The Tays and I.


With the young adults.


Skyline! Gabe's dream bridal car became a reality.


I'm telling you this thing is rigged. Za caught the bouquet =p


Now at the dinner banquet, Eugene introduces us to his date, Evangelina =p


Bing and I.


With Marie.


And Cher Ru.


No alcohol was served but Ee Lin brought her own that night.


Danny and KH with bashful Adrian.


The experts from The Photoz weaving photographic magic.

longing for home

One day soon we will round a bend in the road and our dreams will come true. We really will live happily ever after. The long years in exile will be swept away in the joyful tears of our arrival home. Every day when we rise, we can tell ourselves, My journey today will bring me closer to home, it may be just around the bend.

All that we long for, we shall have; all we long to be, we will be. All that has hurt us so deeply - the dragons and nits, the Arrows and our false lovers, and Satan himself - they will all be swept away.

And then real life begins.

- Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance.

a holiday and then another

I'm contemplating an interesting proposition on a trip to Bali next week. The prospect of spending four days basking on sunny beaches sounds almost too good to let up!

The only drawback would be that I would have to sacrifice two days of unpaid leave. Aiyoh...so poor already lah...

Anyway, here are some pictures taken in UK and Ireland!


Mum and I in London!


We caught The Lion King which was showing at the Lyceum Theatre in London. Tickets cost a bomb but the show itself was THE bomb!


Sausages and mash...yum!


Mum, Victor and I on the banks of the Loch Ness in Scotland.


The family minus Vincent at Vic's convo at Trinity College, Dublin.


And the Voon-Chong clan gets its first doctor!


Clarence Hotel in Dublin, which I found out was owned by U2.


Mum and I cooking up a storm in Vic's apartment.


Lunch with Andrea at Han Yang Korean restaurant. Everyone say "KIMCHI!!"


We celebrated Father's Day over Irish stews, Guiness pot pies, Bailey's Irish Cream cheesecakes, pints of Guiness, and this Irish dance stage performance which was like watching a mini Riverdance.


Ancient graves and monasteries in Monasterboice.


Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....


Another food stop...Irish stew again!


Vic, Adeline and I.


One of my favourite shots of the trip.


Lin does her best impersonation of Simba.


Up in the Wicklow Mountains.


The bea-u-tiful Sally Gap. The movie Braveheart was shot in this region.